I was listening to a song on my phone and scrolling down the screen, when suddenly our eyes met for a moment and I looked away. I could still feel your gaze on me. You approached me first and we started talking. We spoke for some time and I left.
We met again, this time you complimented me and was being little flirtatious. I was looking some where else and blushing, trying very hard to hide the smile which formed on my face everytime you said something good about me. I’m a shy person at heart.
We kept meeting again and again. I liked talking to you and the way you used to make me laugh at your lame jokes and nonsensical talks. How I wonder why were you so good with me!
It was winter’s night when we shared our stories with each other. I realised our pain was so much similar and they had a sense of familiarity between them. How you and me both try to be strong at our weakest point. How art made us better in many ways. It taught us the art of letting go by taking out all our agony through it.
You saw me crying so many times over the same thing again and again still didn’t say anything. You saw my crazy side and didn’t mind becoming a child along with me too. You never said that my pain is invalid or I should get over it immediately. You always told me to take my time and effort to be okay once again. I remember once you asked me to close my eyes and sleep to dream about all things which made happy. I did and I felt better.
One day you said something which I was afraid of you to confess…
It was your eyes which made me fall for you. It was the way your dimples always spoke the truth. It was your childishness which made me protect you. It was your loving kind heart which made my heart beat for you. It was your simplicity and stillness which made me love a silent warrior in you.
I was quiet for some time. I didn’t know how to react. I didn’t want to hurt you. Finally, I said, “I love the kind of a person you are, but you don’t feel home to me. I’m not afraid of losing you. I can’t be with someone who don’t give me chills at the thought of losing them.” Like always I left again without even looking back. Sometimes I wonder how karma would treat me for breaking your heart?!
I read a quote which says, what is more hurtful between not getting the love back and not giving the love back? I think both are painful in its own way. I can’t forgive myself for not reciprocating your love neither can I force myself to fall for you.