I know this should not have come to your notice the way it has, through a letter, but personally. The reason I am writing this down is because I do not want to face you. I can’t bear to look at your face knowing that 10 years from now we won’t be waking up next to one another. I have come to realize something that both of us should have, a long time ago- hat some people are in love, but are just not meant to be together.
I recently attended my friend’s wedding and watching her with her partner- smiling as they thought of the beautiful life that they are going to have together- it just hit me that that will never be us. We will never stand surrounded by friends and family as they bless us. We will never have the chance to look into each other’s eyes and catch a glimpse of what the future holds for us. It kills me to say that as much as I love you, I will not be able to spend my whole life with you.
I wonder if someone will ever take your place. I loved you with all my heart; there’s really no room for anyone else now. You have left an imprint on me that is going to take lives- not years- to fade away. You looked at me like the world was on fire and I was the last ocean; like I hung the stars in the sky, like l could charm even unyielding earth. And trust me when I say that you made me the happiest.
You have given me everything I had ever wished for, and more. You believed in me and pushed me to go beyond my limitations and I tried hard to make you proud. But somehow, no matter what we did for each other, it just wasn’t enough.
This is a final goodbye thanking you for the moments I felt your beating heart and found my reason to live and love, in its silent rhythm. I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out how do people fade in and out of our lives and haven’t been able to make it sound poetic or romantic.
For weeks, I woke up on a wet pillow with your name burning at the back of my mouth. I have come to understand that there are some things that we can simply not do or control- resurrecting the dead, change of seasons, mending a broken heart.
But there are also things that we can do- keep the windows of memory open for souls who are no longer with us, be prepared for eternal sunshine and unconquerable winters, let go of all reasons to keep holding on.Yes, sometimes we have to let go of the rope that connects us to the past because it cuts our palms too deep.
So I wish the best for you in all ways and hope that you are able to fall in love madly with someone, just like I did, with you.