A letter from a mother to her unborn daughter…

Dear daughter,

You turning sixteen was one of the very important days of my life. The mother in me had also become sixteen,after all. As I see you growing up, I go back to the time when I was as young as you are right now. Here are few things that you need to know about the world, about your family and most importantly, about yourself. Also know that though I am presenting you some of the harsh realities of life, there is nothing that will limit you from reaching the ultimate goal of your life. One of the biggest challenges you will ever face is maintaining a balance be it balance between work and co-curricular activities or balance between career and relationships or balance between two relationships, each of their own kind and balance between your head and heart. There are going to be days when you will have to burn yourself down to strive for balance. But it is vital for your sustenance. The moment either of these gets heavier, you drown! But fear not, here is one rule I have learnt that helps. Know that everything in life has a correct time. Don’t try to make things happen when the time is not right.Put in your best efforts in everything, but understand that these will fruit only when you are capable enough to handle these results.

There are going to be ups and downs in the journey towards your goal. The road is never smooth. The day you are on the winning edge, you will be surrounded by lots of people. Some will be genuine and the rest, fake. In this huge crowd, we, your family may not be in the forefront. But remember, when on a day you may have lost, you will find us right beside you to share your pain. Failures are fine. There has not been one man on this planet who has never failed. Learning from these and ensuring you do not repeat your mistakes is the only way out. There are going to be times when you find people scary.You may feel cheated and broken. No one has said that people do not hurt. But please know that everyone is not bad.There still are people who care for you and would never break your trust. You just have to identify them and treasure them for lifetime. Be good to every soul. Remember that it is kind to help everyone, but do not let people take you for granted. You also must not take others for granted. Always keep in mind that no relationship is above your self-worth. And when I say this you must know the difference between self-respect and ego. Let not ego be the reason of your misery.

People will tell you that nothing lasts forever. This is one of the biggest lie the world tells you. It is actually a procedure of weakening you. If there are certain things or people who give you a satisfying feeling and assure your heart that they will remain forever, believe in them. One more lie you will be told is that you should never expect anything in a relationship and that love is expectation-less. Expectations arise only from loved ones. In fact, if they don’t, then the relationship may as well be termed dead. But it is in your hands to decide how much to expect.

One thing that will make your life a bit better is the acceptance of the fact that it is not necessary that all your feelings be reciprocated. It is fine! This should not change your attitude towards anything. Not investing too much, emotionally, in anyone, is the key to mental peace.  Understand that you are going to meet a lot of temporary people and investing something as permanent as emotions would be a bad deal. Be wise in choosing people who stay around you. Take your own time to trust and once you do, don’t let anything come your way. Build relationships that are healthy. But in doing so, do not get dependent on others. Retain your individuality.

As you are growing up from a little girl to become a young lady, you will naturally attract eyes. Some will be indecent too. When you see them, do not lower your eyes. Be so confident and fearless that they will be ashamed of their bad thought. You will also have mood swings. Some days you would not want to leave your room and some days you will not be able to stop talking. Respect all of them. Do not be harsh on yourself. You may also develop special feelings for some guys. Let me tell you that this is nothing out of the world. Many people will make you feel guilty for it. You will desperately want to term these feelings as love. But careful princess, all that glitters is not gold. Psychology says that girls are emotionally more mature than guys in this age.So it is likely that you fall for something that does not deserve you. I am not saying that love is bad. In fact, it is one of the best feelings you would ever experience. But it is a big word to be used to define teenage attractions. And this, you will yourself understand one day. Some guys will even flatter you and try to impress you. In such times, do not forget that you are a lady with a class. Not everything is worth your attention.

You may have formed a little world of your own by now. All your fantasies, dreams, aspirations, thoughts, feelings and memories will comprise this world. Keep it away from negative influences. I know that this must be the most comfortable place for you. You will find the world-changing everyday. You may not like some of them. But be graceful and accept! I assure you that these are going to be the most beautiful years of your upcoming life. Live them to the fullest. Have faith and take a leap. You will be tested. People will laugh at you. Some will be jealous. You will be criticized. But, continue! Explore the new paradigms of your personality. Breathe. Let go. Live. Always remember that I am going to be there for you, no matter what. So please never cry alone to sleep.

And most importantly, in all this process of growing up and in the never-ending battle of head versus heart, never ever let your soul die!

Loads of love and strength.

Your mumma.


Cover image source

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